Welcome Back to Toni's Window,
My name is Antoinette Crosby, as you all may know if you've read my previous article. Today I will expound just a little bit about my family and my life, and also my passion and purpose. I’m 31 years old and married to Aaron who is the protector, provider, and back bone of our growing and loving family. Together we have 2 beautiful yet very strong willed children. McKinzie is our daughter and puts a totally different perspective to "Boss Baby" and is the youngest of the two. Malachi, our son is a manly man. He tries to fix and build anything his dad puts his hands on! Please help me pray for them! Lol.
Now a little about me. I was raised by my grandparents in DOLTON which is one of Chicago's south-suburban areas! My sister and I both grew up under the supervision and guidance of our grandparents. We really lived a decent life with them and I personally appreciation everything they've done for us and sacrificed. We wanted for nothing, nor did we need for anything! Our grandparents made sure that we were both very well taken care of.... Until I moved out to experience life without my safety net!
Embracing a different life of responsibility, living on my own in my one bedroom apartment at that time was one of my biggest accomplishments. Obtained from hard work and saving every penny I earned gave me a sense of freedom!
Life started to spiral out of control when I lost my job. A family from church offered me a permanent place to stay until I was ready to venture out and be independent once more. Little did I know, the word permanent wasn't used lightly but to its full meaning.
Last year I started to understand my passion and purpose when I reflected on my life before marriage. Standing face to face with the harsh realization that I was being emotionally manipulated, verbally attacked, and overall not in a good space in my new life. Living in this uncharted territory of new struggles, deceit, and hidden ulterior motives of others at that point was so unfamiliar to me.
Living with the church family I spread myself so thin to help accommodate everyone else wants and needs. I helped financially with everyone's birthday, Christmas, dances, proms and bills if anyone came short of their responsibilities. I gave my car again and again reluctantly after being forced to replace my one and only vehicle that one of the family members totaled without any compensation. I was hoping that all my good deeds wouldn't go unnoticed and would be reciprocated if I ever needed the help.
It's crazy how the most important things to me was just sweep underneath the rug and held with no real significance to anyone else but me. Everyone was completely out for self and would bask on the down fall of others. In a house full of people I was lonely, depressed, and slowly slipping away from the nice and loving young lady that my grandparents both strive so hard to raise! I had to snap back to reality because help and support was never there! I had to realize my mindset is different from others.
I was doing a great job at suppressing my emotions which could be damaging to the health and welfare of ones body. Mental health is really important, you are the only person that can protect you! In our culture it’s unusual to express how we feel without being ridiculed. We need to learn how to take time out for our-self because self preservation is everything. My purpose in writing this blog is to spread the knowledge and enlighten people on how important mental health is! Not just for adults but for children as well. I want to be able to encourage someone that’s in the same situation I was once in that their not along. It’s okay to seek help, I was not aware of that while I was in my situation. I strive to inspire others though my passion and that’s Toni’s Window. My goal is to promote positivity and awareness through my social media platforms.....!
Until next time